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Dear S. Now, the roof! I can get: 1)Rugby team to go and kick his head in, or 2)HMS Cornwall to anchor in the bay to put the willies up him! You choose, P Dear P. I may have a strain of Katzantzakis’ Syndrome:

The further away one is from one's country, the more one thinks of it and loves it. When I am in Greece I see the pettiness, the intrigues, the idiocies, the inadequacies of the leaders and the misery of the people. But from afar one cannot distinguish the ugliness so clearly, and one has more freedom to create an image of the country worthy of true love.’ Nikos Kazantzakis

My small dose arose from differences between me and a builder 2000 kilometres away about what work is needed to make the roof on our house in Ano Korakiana weatherproof - a difference proportional to the distance separating us, multiplied by the time it takes to get from Birmingham to Corfu, times the cost of the journey, divided by the perceived likelihood that I will make that journey at short notice. Pondering your suggested antidotes to this condition I'd go for both, but Cornwall, following the peaceful resolution of the Corfu Knickers Crisis (see earlier), has sailed , so I'll go for the team. Best. S * * * Texted F. 'Stop work, flying out'. A call to Olympic Airlines who, after an exchange of names and digits, send an e-mail electronic ticket paid by card. I should be meeting Aln on Wednesday to look over our roof. My ecological footprint has grown, my moral standing shrunk, but I shall use in-flight time to check over a paper I've been sent on The significance of internet communication in public discourse:

The differentiation of topics, styles and actors in the current public sphere is an astonishing phenomenon, which changes our views on it in relation to democracy...

* * * A scandal in Glasgow after a man was put on probation for an indecent offence with his bicycle. Such relationships have become increasingly normal in the Home Counties. In London people, unable to relate closely to bicycles, will seek partners as like them as possible, but the case has taken more conservative Scots by surprise. The Sheriff accustomed to trying such crimes with cars, trucks, and even planes, said 'In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me.' I suspect this prudishness will evaporate, and attitudes towards intimacy with bicycles change, such is the interest among Glaswegians in this case. I'm Scottish by background but as someone brought up in England I have long treated my bicycles as friends and ... yes ... sometimes more than friends.